


we could start a fire (we could burn forever)

by neverwhere (nekrateholic)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, M/M, but what else is new, wonshik is whipped
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 08:07:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18332027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/neverwhere
Summary: Celebrities get into scandals all the time, it's just how life goes. Wonshik wishes this particular celebrity had timed his scandal a bit differently, though.





	we could start a fire (we could burn forever)

**Author's Note:**

> this........ was a long time coming. so long. so, so long.  
> it's once again [Silverdancer's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverdancer) fault because of course it is. bb this is way to late to be a birthday present but it's a present anyway. i love you ♥
> 
> title from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hB70jXbkHls). sort of. it fits them anyway

_[BREAKING!] Singer Lee Jaehwan sends inappropriate video to fan._

Wonshik stares the article, frozen. It’s like time has stopped, his brain struggling to comprehend the words. When he finally snaps out of it, he clicks the link to scroll through the article. It’s not a long one, just a few lines about how apparently Jaehwan was dumb enough to sext and subsequently send a five-second video of his dick to someone. It’s not really a nude one, the article says - he does have clothes apparently and his face isn’t even in the frame, but it’s very obvious the video was meant to be erotic. The original poster swears up and down it’s Jaehwan in the video, though, and from then on it just snowballs into so-called fans confirming it with borderline stalkerish arguments.

The details are unclear, they don’t even know if it was a _fan_ he sent this to but the fact is that now there is a five-second video centered around what is possibly Lee Jaehwan’s dick circulating the internet. The article has a link to a repost of it, labeled with all sorts of age restriction warnings.

Wonshik clicks it, eyes squinted and blush high on his cheeks. It proves useless, the re-post is taken down already. He sighs as he clicks the window closed.

“What were you even thinking, Kim Wonshik?” he mumbles to himself, glad there’s no one else in the studio to hear him talking to himself. Or witness him stalking a fellow musician’s scandals, apparently. The picture of professional.

Wonshik’s phone pings in his pocket. When he takes it out, there’s a message from Sanghyuk sitting in his inbox.

_did you see it?_

_Did I see what?_ he types back.

_so you saw it_

_what do you think? seems singing isn’t the only thing he’s talented in ;)_

Wonshik resist the urge to throw his phone across the room. _I DID NOT SEE IT, NO_

The answer comes mere seconds later. _well if you ever feel like ;)_

It’s followed by a link to what seems to be another repost of the video. Wonshik does throw his phone away this time.

*

Jaehwan’s official apology on the issue is out just before Wonshik has to leave for his dinner date with Hongbin later the same day.

“What are you going to do now?” Hongbin asks him in the restaurant, scrolling through the article on his phone.

Wonshik looks up from the beer he’s been staring into for the past minute. “What do you mean?”

“Are you going to go through with the collaboration?” Hongbin clarifies. “Lee Jaehwan seems like a lot of bad publicity right now.”

Right. The collaboration. Wonshik can’t say he’s thought a lot about it since the news broke. He was a little too busy having an internal crisis over the links Sanghyuk keeps sending him. Every time a repost is taken down and Wonshik allows himself to breathe a sigh of relief, Sanghyuk finds and sends him a new one.

Even without that, though, the answer to Hongbin’s question is clear. “Of course I will. I mean, if he still wants to after all this. I did not approach him because of his fame.”

“Yeah,” Hongbin snorts. “You approached him because you have a big gay crush on him.”

It says a lot that Wonshik doesn’t even try to deny it anymore. He’s self aware enough to know that - yeah, he kind of does have a big gay crush on Lee Jaehwan. “That’s not the only reason I want to work with him,” he tells Hongbin. “I do actually admire him as an artist, you know.”

“I know,” Hongbin nods but the teasing glint in his eyes does not disappear. “So did you see it?”

Wonshik almost spits out his beer. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Because you have a-”

“Fine, fine, I get it! I thought admitting to it would at least stop the teasing,” Wonshik grumbles. “No. I did not see it because it may not be him and even if it was, I respect him and his dick is his own business.”

Hongbin smirks. “But you wish his business was your business as well.”

Wonshik drops his head on the table, mumbling “I hate you,” into the wood. Hongbin just laughs next to him.

*

His phone rings the next morning. Wonshik’s eyes are still heavy with sleep when he fumbles with the buttons.

Sanghyuk’s voice is too loud for whatever the fuck hour in the morning it is. “Wonshik, my love.”

“I hate you,” Wonshik says on instinct. Then he remembers Sanghyuk hasn’t actually done anything. _Yet._ Wonshik’s sure it will be deserved at some point, soon. “What did you want?”

“So rude,” Sanghyuk sighs, voice heavy with fake disappointment. “Remember how we were supposed to meet up with Lee Jaehwan and his manager for lunch today? They cancelled, but Hakyeon promised to reschedule in a few days.”

“As was expected.” Wonshik replies. He did expect it, yes, but a part of him still hoped for a miracle. However, “Did you make it clear I’m still on for the collaboration?”

“As if I would ever take the object of your wet dreams away from you.” Wonshik sputters at that, but before he can actually say anything, Sanghyuk continues in that same annoying tone, “Speaking of, did you see the video?”

“No.” Wonshik grits. “I told you already, I do not -”

“Such a shame,” Sanghyuk interrupts. “The last repost was good quality too. It’s okay, I’ll find more for you. Oh, by the way,” he continues before Wonshik can say anything, _again_ , “Taekwoon said he’ll come see you today, he might be at your place already.”

With that, Sanghyuk hangs up and Wonshik is left staring at his phone, contemplating his life choices. Particularly the one he made when he hired Han Sanghyuk as his manager. The phone pings, signalling a new message from said manager. It contains a link.

Wonshik screams into his pillow.

*

When he finally emerges from his bedroom, he has a pair of sweatpants thrown on just in case Taekwoon really is in his apartment. Which he is, as indicated from the clattering of cutlery Wonshik can hear before he even enters the kitchen.

“I regret giving you a key to my house every day of my life,” he replies to Taekwoon’s half-hearted wave hello.

“Your kitchen is bigger than mine.” Taekwoon states, like that excuses every morning he’s ever let himself in Wonshik’s apartment uninvited, subsequently scaring the shit out of him on most of those mornings. “I made pancakes?” Taekwoon offers.

Wonshik sighs. “Thank you. A heads up would’ve been nice, though.”

“I told Sanghyuk.” Taekwoon replies, sliding a plate towards him.

“I am not Sanghyuk.” Wonshik says slowly, like he’s talking to a child. With Taekwoon, sometimes it feels like he is.

Taekwoon waves a hand in the air. “Same difference. How’s your collaboration going?”

Wonshik freezes with a fork halfway to his mouth. A lesser man would be fooled by the apparent innocence in Taekwoon’s voice. Wonshik knows a trap when he sees one, though. He’d hoped at least Taekwoon, with his general indifference towards press bullshit would leave him alone. _Of course_ he was wrong.

“He rescheduled our lunch today,” he says carefully.

“Aww, I’m sorry your date stood you up, Wonshikkie,” Taekwoon replies, completely straight faced. Wonshik grits his teeth.

“It was not-” he’s interrupted by his phone pinging with a new message, and Wonshik swears death and suffering if it’s Sanghyuk with a yet another link, but the number is unknown. Wonshik puts the fork down and picks up his phone instead.

_hi, this is lee jaehwan? i got your number from your manager, i’m sorry_

A few seconds later another message arrives.

_hakyeon says i don’t need to but i just wanted to say, if you no longer want to work with me i’d understand_

“Ooh, cute,” Taekwoon mutters over Wonshik’s shoulder, startling him enough to drop the phone. When did Taekwoon even get that close?

“Taekwoon,” Wonshik says slowly, punctuating every word. “What did we say about personal space?”

Taekwoon taps his chin, simulating a rational thought process Wonshik’s starting to doubt any of his friends are capable of. “That it’s for losers and we’re not losers?”

Wonshik’s cheeks burn. “That was _one time,_ you asshole, I was drunk off my ass.”

“I shall cherish that memory forever,” Taekwoon sighs happily, settling back on his chair.

Wonshik squeezes his eyes shut and prays for patience.

His prayers are answered a few seconds later, in the form of another plate of pancakes being slid towards him and Taekwoon’s slightly apologetic smile. Wonshik rolls his eyes but grins back anyway.

*

He doesn’t get to reply to Jaehwan’s messages until hours later, when Taekwoon finally leaves to go to whatever schedules Hongbin has booked for him.

The first message attempt is: _it’s okay!!! really!!_ Wonshik deletes it as soon as he types the last exclamation mark. For a fleeting second, he thinks about replying with _your dick wasn’t the reason i wanted to collab with you_ but doesn’t even dare type it out. Partly because it’s not entirely true but also… _no_.

In the end, he sends, _of course i still want to work with you, your private life isn’t any of my business_.

He stares at his phone in anticipation for a while. When the seconds turn into minutes, and the minutes… become too much, Wonshik finally decides to stop being an idiot and actually get some work done. He puts his phone on silent and buries it under his pillow for good measure.

He fears that he’d check it every few seconds otherwise.

His resolve lasts a total of one hour before he dives under his pillows for the phone. His heart skips a beat when he sees the message notification. There are three of them - one from Sanghyuk, another link, and two from Jaehwan.

Wonshik bites his lip as he clicks the ones from Jaehwan.

_i don’t know whether i should be relieved or offended by that_

_but thank you_

What follows are approximately two minutes of pure, unadulterated panic in which Wonshik types _i’m sorry??? i didn’t mean to offend you :(_  and sends it, then proceeds to regret his entire existence.

The reply is almost instant this time. _you’re cute_

Before Wonshik has enough time to properly freak out, another message comes in.

It’s a picture. It’s a selfie - one where Jaehwan is making a peace sign, winking, lips pulled in a half smile. It’s captioned _it’s all good_.

Wonshik spends a good few minutes trying to convince himself he has not, in fact, died and went to heaven. The picture somehow makes itself both his phone’s background and lockscreen. Wonshik has no idea how that happens. _Really_.

*

He spends the next few days mostly cooped up in the studio because, while the collaboration is put on indefinite hiatus, he still has other songs to work on.

Jaehwan, surprisingly, keeps texting him. Hongbin has a lot of opinions about it but Wonshik has  just as much years of experience in ignoring him. Sanghyuk, at least, has stopped sending him reposts of the dick video. Wonshik is a little curious as to why, so he clicks on the last link he was sent. It’s probably taken down already, he tells himself. It’s just harmless curiosity. Yup.

It’s not taken down.

Wonshik scrambles to close the tab before he can really see anything. Almost at the same time, a message from Jaehwan comes in and Wonshik stares at it in horror. Maybe all those FBI jokes were true, what if Jaehwan’s entire career so far has been a ploy to catch Wonshik in the act of looking at videos of his celebrity crush’s potential dick videos… The phone pings again.

You are an idiot, a voice that sounds suspiciously a lot like Hongbin’s states in his brain. Wonshik takes a deep breath and clicks on the message.

_hakyeon put me on indefinite house arrest but i’m bored out of my miiiiiind_

_can we work on the song from a distance or something?_

Wonshik blinks at his screen. They can, probably, but it would be a pain in the ass. That, and they haven’t technically even talked about what the song will be. Sanghyuk wouldn’t mind if Wonshik discussed it with Jaehwan without him present, but Jaehwan’s manager seems a little… strict. Wonshik may or may not be a little scared of him.

_we haven’t even talked the terms of the collab through yet, the song is not complete yet_

Jaehwan’s reply is instant and full of pouty emojis.

_does it matter? we can just talk it through between the two of us and leave the paperwork to hakyeon and your guy later_

Wonshik spends a hot minute trying to talk himself out of it, but in the end he dials Jaehwan’s number.

“Sorry,” he says as soon as Jaehwan picks up, “I just thought it would be easier if we talked.”

Jaehwan’s laughter fills his ears and Wonshik tries his best to resist the urge to flop face first on the couch in the studio. “Isn’t texting how kids communicate these days?”

“You’re definitely not a kid, though,” Wonshik replies and immediately regrets it. Great start, Kim Wonshik. To his relief, Jaehwan laughs again.

“I guess now the whole world knows that, yeah.” After a second of awkward silence, he laughs, quiet and humourless, “If that’s even me in the video, of course. Anyway, what do you think about it?”

Wonshik barely stops himself from replying with, _your dick?_ He clears his throat. “I mean, yeah. I kinda want to start working on the song, too, but there’s still the issue of the actual contract. Wouldn’t your manager mind?”

“Who, Hakyeon?” Jaehwan’s smile bleeds through his voice. “I mean, he’d probably nag a little but I doubt he’d really have anything against it.”

“He kind of scares me,” Wonshik confesses.

Now Jaehwan laughs, really laughs, wheezing for a full two minutes (Wonshik counts). “You’re scared of Hakyeon?”

“I mean...” Wonshik trails off, unsure. Mostly embarrassed. “He seems really strict?”

“He is,” Jaehwan agrees easily, voice still a little breathless from laughing so much. Wonshik tries not to die at the sound of it. “But he’s also really sweet. He’s like… A little like a friendly grandma, I guess. It’s cute. Definitely not scary, although I feel like he’d enjoy knowing he’s fooled someone.”

“Still, though,” Wonshik counters. “You can’t really get out much and phone bills would be a disaster.”

“You could come over?” Jaehwan suggests, voice full of _something_ . Wonshik chokes out a cough. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Jaehwan starts again, bright, but the _something_ is still there. “We can skype or something.”

“Okay,” Wonshik breathes out. “Okay that would be cool.”

“Sweet,” Jaehwan chirps, “I’ll text you.”

With that, the conversation is over, and Wonshik does flop face first on the couch this time.

*

They set up a time to talk lyrics over skype later that day. Wonshik already has most of them down but singing with Jaehwan - he wants it to be perfect. He doesn't want to treat Jaehwan like a glorified music box either, so the brainstorming session is more than welcome. Sanghyuk’s phone is off when Wonshik calls him, so he leaves a text message explaining everything instead.

When Jaehwan picks up the video call, he’s sat cross legged on a bed, clad in what seems to be a bathrobe _only_ , a tub of ice cream in his lap. Wonshik wants to die.

“Oh,” Jaehwan says, absently putting the ice cream away. “You’re decent.” He leans close to his laptop, squinting at the screen. “And you seem to be in a studio” Wonshik nods dumbly. “Okay, gimme a second.”

He disappears out of shot and Wonshik can hear rustling to the side. He briefly wonders what the hell did he sign up for. The shot wavers, like the laptop is being moved and when it settles, it seems like Jaehwan has moved it to a desk or a table of some sort. Wonshik can see the unmade bed to the left. Then Jaehwan shows up again, grinning, dressed in a shirt that could probably comfortably fit another person in it. It falls off his shoulder a little and there’s a collarbone almost fully on display.

Wonshik mutters an, “Um.”

“Now I’m decent too!” Jaehwan chirps, still grinning. Then he frowns. “Well, sort of. I don’t have pants on. But you can’t see that!”

He’s grinning again and Wonshik wants to _die_.

“Okaaay,” he drawls in the end. “Have you thought about what kind of song do you want it to be?”

Jaehwan taps his chin in thought. “Something cute?”

“Uh,” Wonshik tries not to cringe. It’s not that he minds exactly, but his last few jobs have all been producing cutesy singles. Oh well.

Jaehwan sighs. “Honestly, I wanted to go for sexy. But considering the situation now...”

“Well, the song won’t be done for a few months, at least. It will probably blow over by then.” Wonshik absently taps his pen on the keyboard. “But even if it does, are you sure a cute concept would be the best idea? Like, you have a dick video out there. I’m not sure cute would really fly with your audience anytime soon.”

“I _could_ have a sort-of dick video out there, you mean” Jaehwan corrects, frowning. “But if I do sexy I’ll be labeled as a slut forever. Boring love song would be the safest bet, but dear lord I’m so tired of those.”

“I guess we have to wait for our managers’ opinions, in the end.” Wonshik sighs.

“And to think I got all professional for nothing,” Jaehwan pouts.

Wonshik chokes on air, tries to mask it as a snort. “This is what you call professional?”

Jaehwan pouts some more. “You don’t think this is professional enough?” He pinches the collar of his shirt between his fingers and pulls at it. It exposes even more of his collarbone, his shoulder. Wonshik swallows. Jaehwan heaves a breath, disappointed. “I should’ve stayed with the robe.”

“No, no!” Wonshik hurries to reply before Jaehwan decides he needs to get back in the robe. “I like your shirt, it’s cool.”

“Yeah?” Jaehwan beams. He finally releases his collar, and the shirt flops back to falling off his shoulder. There are a few seconds of awkward silence (on Wonshik’s part) before Jaehwan speaks again, voice full of curiosity. “Did you see it?”

Wonshik blinks at him. “Did I see what?”

Jaehwan rolls his eyes. “The video.”

“Um, no.” Wonshik mutters, hoping his face doesn’t look as hot as he feels. “I think it would be unprofessional. And a little weird, honestly, considering I wasn’t who it was meant for…” he trails off. “If it was really you, of course.” Then promptly buries his face in his hands. What was he even thinking?

Jaehwan’s laughter fills his ears. When Wonshik finally dares to look up, Jaehwan is smiling at him - it’s breathtaking. “You’re so cute,” he coos, and Wonshik drops his head on the desk. Jaehwan laughs again. “If it really was me, I wouldn’t mind if you saw it, honestly. “But it’s really sweet that you don’t want to.”

“That’s - that’s good to know,” Wonshik mumbles into the wood. If only Jaehwan knew, if only he knew how much Wonshik wants to.

There’s a phone ringing somewhere and Wonshik jumps up before he realizes it comes from Jaehwan’s side of the call. “Oh, it’s Hakyeon. I have to pick up. I promise we’ll talk actual lyrics eventually.” he looks at the camera and… and blows a kiss. Wonshik thinks he’s definitely dead and gone to heaven now. “See you later, Kim Wonshik. Thank you for keeping me company.”

Wonshik manages a wave before Jaehwan hangs up. He makes sure the call is no longer running, even logs out of skype, just in case, before he gets up and flings himself at the couch.

If he lets out a whimper or ten in the couch cushions, well. The studio is soundproof, after all.

*

“So he basically gave you the go ahead to look at his dick?” Hongbin asks incredulously the next day over breakfast. Breakfast that Taekwoon cooked, in _Wonshik’s_ kitchen, because his friends do not know the definition of personal space.

Wonshik rubs at his temples. “Remind me again why I tell you anything?”

“Because we’re your best friends.” Taekwoon states from where he’s draped over Hongbin. He’s in one of his cuddly moods today, and all of them have long since learned to just accept the occasional bursts of affection. Hongbin doesn’t even blink when Taekwoon rests his chin on his shoulder.

“Yeah,” Wonshik sighs. “I regret my life choices pretty often.”

“What did Sanghyuk say about it?” Hongbin asks, ignoring him.

Wonshik sighs again, more dramatically this time. “He said _“it’s cute how you two think you can get anything done without me and Hakyeon”_ and sent me another repost.”

Taekwoon snorts. “That’s why he’s my favorite.”

“Oh?” Wonshik narrows his eyes. “I’ll make sure to tell him.”

The reaction is instantaneous - Taekwoon yelps and leaves Hongbin in favor of trying to strangle Wonshik. A few seconds later he just sort of - deflates, pulls up a chair and snuggles up to Wonshik instead, stealing some of his eggs. “Don’t tell him,” he mumbles around Wonshik’s fork. “He’ll make me suffer again.”

“Tickling is hardly suffering,” Hongbin snorts.

“I could’ve choked, I could’ve _died_ ,” Taekwoon gasps, offended. Hongbin laughs again.

“He’s nice when you’re nice.” Wonshik reminds him.

Taekwoon huffs. “But I like teasing him.”

“You kinda fail at it,” Wonshik says with a smile, and gets an elbow to the ribs for his troubles.

“Can we go back to you and your boyfriend’s dick?” Taekwoon grumbles, stealing more of the eggs.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Wonshik grits. Taekwoon drops his head on Wonshik’s shoulder. “We barely even know each other.”

“But he offered to show you his dick.” Hongbin points out, ever the helpful one.

“Just,” Wonshik sighs for the upteenth time. “Can we just drop it?”

Hongbin shrugs. “Whatever you say, loverboy.”

*

Jaehwan is still on house arrest, so they’ve decided on another skype call, this time both Sanghyuk and Hakyeon present with their respective charges.

Wonshik has decided to do the call from his own apartment. It may or may not have to do with the fact that Sanghyuk invited himself over a few hours before the arranged time, noticed the fact that Taekwoon has been there and cooking, and simply refused to leave.

“I’m changing the locks.” Wonshik states when Sanghyuk moves the giant stack of folders he’s brought with him to Wonshik’s kitchen table, then proceeds to settle on his favorite chair.

“Good idea,” Sanghyuk snorts, “that way you’ll live the rest of your life on instant noodles in your studio.”

“It doesn't sound that bad,” Wonshik tries, resigning himself to one of the regular chairs. Then he remembers Taekwoon's spaghetti from a few nights ago. “Fine,” he concedes eventually. Then adds an, “I hate you,” just because.

Sanghyuk gives him the finger, then proceeds to start the call.

“Hey, Hyukkie!” Greets a voice that is not Jaehwan from the other end. Wonshik belatedly recognizes it as Jaehwan’s manager, Hakyeon.

He stares at Sanghyuk. “You two know each other?”

“Oh but of course!” Hakyeon beams and Wonshik almost sees that sweetness Jaehwan was talking about. “I was Hyukkie’s mentor when he first started in the business,” Hakyeon grins and nope, _nope_. He’s still very scary. Wonshik scoots a little further on the bed.

It’s Jaehwan’s snort that finally draws Wonshik’s attention to the fact that he is, in fact, in the frame as well. He waves from behind Sanghyuk and Jaehwan grins back at him. Hakyeon narrows his eyes. Wonshik promptly drops his hand and sits on it.

“Soo,” Jaehwan starts, drawing Hakyeon’s attention away from Wonshik. “What do you say big boss men, do we do cute or sexy?”

Sanghyuk rolls his eyes. “Seriously, aren’t they cute? Like little clueless puppies.”

“Hopeless,” Hakyeon nods solemnly. He takes out a stack of papers, similar to the one Sanghyuk has. “I was thinking we might try something dark. I’ve prepared some examples. Horror, fantasy maybe? Or those mafia things? It’s a bit of a stretch but it wouldn’t have the repercussions of either cute or sexy. The current lyrics won’t need too much tweaking either.” He gives Jaehwan a pointed look. Jaehwan shrugs.

“But wait,” he says suddenly. “Doesn’t that mean another sad love songs? I’m sick of sad love songs.”

“At least it won’t be a ballad. Probably?” Wonshik says, glancing at Hakyeon… for approval? Hakyeon seems very pleased at the fact.

“Actually,” Sanghyuk starts and he sounds a bit unsure. Wonshik’s eyes widen. Has he even heard Sanghyuk sound unsure before? But Hakyeon nods like it’s the most natural thing. “I had this idea, what if we did something funny? Like, something mocking the whole situation.  It could be cute-ish but in a way that makes fun of Jaehwan’s stupidity.”

“Hey,” Jaehwan whines, offended.

Hakyeon gives him a look. “He’s right.”

And Jaehwan… shuts up. Just clamps his mouth shut and glares, but doesn’t protest. Wonshik feels the odd need to maybe bow down to Hakyeon.

“I’m sorry Hyukkie,” Hakyeon smiles through the camera. “Please go on.”

“Right.” Sanghyuk says, taking out some of his papers. “The lyrics would definitely need tweaking for this one but I did some research and you’d be surprised how many artists have their dicks documented out there. They’re generally still thriving, so I guess it worked for them?” He scrolls through his tablet, and looks back up to Hakyeon on the screen. “I’ll send you some music videos. We can also make it seem like Jaehwan’s mocking the whole thing because it isn’t true, not because he’s an idiot.

“Hey!” Jaehwan whines again, louder this time.

Wonshik hurries to change the subject before it gets worse. “I think I can work with that,” he mutters, squirming as all eyes seem to land on him. “I mean, obviously I’ll work with Jaehwan for the lyrics but I can definitely imagine it.”

“It’s settled then,” Hakyeon beams.

Sanghyuk drops his papers. “Wait, just like that?”

“Well yeah,” Hakyeon shrugs. “It’s a good idea. I thought about it too but not enough to look into it. And the kids like it, which is the most important.”

“I never said anything!” Jaehwan exclaims.

Hakyeon raises an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’re against it?”

Jaehwan opens his mouth, then closes it. Then pouts. “...No. No, I’m not.”

“That’s what I thought,” Hakyeon nods, gathering his papers. “Alright, Wonshik, Jaehwan is on house arrest for at least another week. If I hear he’s been out during that I’m holding you responsible.” He fixes Wonshik a look. “And I _will_ know about it if he does.”

Wonshik scoots his chair back - but because it’s not his favorite, it makes an awful screeching noise, leaving all of them in a sort of an awkward pause after it.

“Nice meeting,” Sanghyuk snorts, finally starting to gather his papers, too.

“Yeah, yeah,” Hakyeon mutters absently. He looks up and smiles at the camera, but Wonshik has a feeling it’s for Sanghyuk. “You’ll have the formalities on your desk by Wednesday.”

Wonshik blinks at the calendar on the wall. “Isn’t today Tuesday?” And late afternoon, too.

Hakyeon gives him a blank look. “Your point?”

“Sometimes I’m convinced he’s actually a robot,” Sanghyuk stage whispers.

“Aww, Hyukkie,” Hakyeon coos, “you’re just as sweet as I remember.”

Sanghyuk jumps away from the laptop. “Ew, please don’t ever say that again.”

Hakyeon sighs, long-suffering. “They grow up so fast. As much as I like talking to you lot, though,” he continues, waving a handful of papers, “I have things to do. See you.” He’s almost out of shot, when he pokes his head back to add, “I’m watching you, Kim Wonshik.”

“So dramatic,” Jaehwan rolls his eyes. There’s an _I heard that!_ that echoes somewhere else in the house. “Good!” Jaehwan yells back.

Wonshik stares at the place Hakyeon was just in. Jaehwan winks at him.

“Okay, I’m out!” Sanghyuk exclaims gathering all his papers.

Jaehwan pouts at him. “I really thought this meeting would be for more than just a concept decision.”

Sanghyuk rolls his eyes. “It would've been if it was an actual meeting where me and Hakyeon could actually do stuff. Papers can't be signed over skype. Besides, I didn’t really expect us to settle on a concept so quick.”

“Hakyeon seems to have a lot of faith in you,” Jaehwan says, head tilted curiously.

Sanghyuk rolls his eyes. He’s smiling, though, which kind of lessens the impact. “Can't say the same about you.”

“Hey,” Jaehwan… whines. _Again._ Wonshik has the weird urge to protect his honor. Or something.

Sanghyuk ignores him. “Alright, I really am out before you two start making googly eyes at each other.”

“But -” Wonshik tries. All he gets is a half hearted backwards wave and Sanghyuk is out the kitchen, the front door of the apartment clicking shut not long after. Wonshik heaves a sigh.

“So,” Jaehwan starts, smiling into the camera.

“So,” Wonshik repeats, smiling back without really realizing it. “Do you wanna talk about the song then?”

Jaehwan hums. “Honestly, no.” Wonshik is about to apologize and make some excuse to hang up, but before he could do any of those things, Jaehwan continues, voice full of curiosity. “Tell me about yourself, Kim Wonshik.”

And that’s. Oh. “Oh,” Wonshik says aloud as well. “Okay.” He prays to every god above that his cheeks aren’t as red as he thinks he is. Blushing like a schoolgirl from a simple question. His credibility would be out of the window.

Although, judging by the glint in Jaehwan’s eyes, it already is.

*

“Isn’t it weird?” Jaehwan says one day, over skype. “That we’ve talked so much these past two weeks and we’ve never met face to face.”

Their skype sessions have become sort of a regular thing now. It’s under the excuse that they need to discuss the song and Wonshik makes sure to always have the calls in his studio but more often than not, they end up just talking.

It’s this casual comfort they have going on (and maybe the fact that Wonshik is distracted with the soundboard) that prompts him to reply with a, “We have.”

He regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth. Jaehwan immediately perks up, curious.

The thing is… they’ve never met _officially_. All the initial arrangements about the song went through Sanghyuk and Hakyeon. Wonshik can’t fake his way out of this one.

“Do elaborate,” Jaehwan prompts when Wonshik stays silent for too long.

“Uh,” is the eloquent reply. What the hell, Sanghyuk was probably going to expose him eventually anyway. “I might or might not have attended one of your fansigns.”

It’s a little more than one, but there’s only so much of Wonshik’s dignity he’s willing to sacrifice in one go.

Jaehwan squints at him through the screen. “I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered you if you were to one of my fansigns.”

Wonshik busies himself with the soundboard to earn some time to come up with something other than _well I’ve kinda had a giant boner for your entire existence since before either of us even debuted officially_.

What he ends up saying is, “It was a long time ago. I was still fairly unknown, you wouldn’t remember me.”

Jaehwan raises his eyebrows. “We started around the same time, not counting my youtube thing, and you took off way before I did. Have you been a fan for this long?”

Shit. Why does he have to be so _logical?_

Wonshik doesn’t really want to lie, though. Even for his dignity. “Maybe…?” He ends up muttering, almost sure that Jaehwan didn’t pick it up. He’s not sure if his fragile inner peace can handle repeating it.

Jaehwan says nothing for a moment too long. When Wonshik turns back to his laptop screen, Jaehwan is just sitting there, grinning.

Wonshik rolls his eyes. “You’re being creepy.”

“No,” Jaehwan whines, lips pulling into a pout. “I’m cute.”

 _Yes,_ Wonshik’s brain screams. Out loud, he says, “Right.”

Jaehwan pouts harder. Wonshik wants to die. Again. It seems to be a recurring theme with Jaehwan.

He turns back to his equipment, trying his best to look super busy in lieu of more awkward conversation. It almost works - then again, this is Jaehwan. One can only stay quiet for so long with Jaehwan on the other side.

*

"What's your favorite song of mine?" Jaehwan asks one day, over skype.

It's a thing now, ever since Wonshik reluctantly admitted he's a fan. Jaehwan would hold semi casual conversation with him over during one of their numerous video calls and drop some comment questioning Wonshik's fandom activity out of the blue.

It's oddly not as embarrassing as he'd expected it to be. Jaehwan is really easy to talk to and Wonshik was prepared for that, sort of, what with the sheer amount of celebrities that have claimed they're friends with Jaehwan. Still, the reality of how they've gone from virtual strangers to text threads with over fifty messages at a time... it's a little overwhelming.

Jaehwan is still waiting for the answer, eyes expectant on the screen of Wonshik's laptop. It makes him uneasy, so like many questionable decisions regarding Jaehwan he's made before, Wonshik does the one thing he shouldn't do: tells the truth. "Uh, Rose."

Jaehwan's eyebrows lift up.

Wonshik swears he can hear the world around him crashing down.

(This is a disaster for two reasons:

  1. Rose is not even on one of Jaehwan's albums.
  2. The thing that Wonshik made sure almost no one in the industry knows is that, well. Rose is a song Wonshik wrote. For himself and Jaehwan. _For Jaehwan._ And then chickened out of actually proposing the duet, so he created a pen name, then proceeded to beg Moonbyul to do it for him. The result? Now the song exists as a b-side to one of Moonbyul's albums and everyone thought she and Jaehwan were secretly dating for a good few months.



If Wonshik doesn't want a seem like a shitty rap fan that only likes Jaehwan as a featured artist because of point one, he has to admit to point two. And dear lord, _Wonshik does not want to admit to point two._

He'd had to threaten Sanghyuk with pain from hell in order to keep his mouth shut. He's pretty sure the reason why Sanghyuk actually did keep his secret is just because it being public knowledge would most likely do more harm than good to his image. The result is the same: Sanghyuk keeps his mouth shut, so Wonshik is happy.)

“I mean,” Wonshik tries, “I really like your voice there?”

Jaehwan, bless his heart, just shrugs it off and changes the topic.

*

_in case you forgot ;)_

Wonshik clicks the message open, still half asleep. It contains a link to a sketchy website, most likely containing the infamous dick video. He’d roll his eyes if his brain was awake enough to give the command.

Except.

Wait.

Wonshik's suddenly very, very awake. Because the text is not from Sanghyuk. He rubs his eyes, even pinches his elbow just in case (it fucking _hurts)_ but the words remain the same. The contact box reads _Lee Jaehwan ♥._

_omg i'm so sorry_

_i meant to send you an article about our "hypothetical" collab I'M SORRY_

Wonshik breathes a sigh of relief. He'll need to have a few breathing exercises before he has the willpower to reply, though.

*

Said willpower doesn't arrive before his regular skype call with Jaehwan.

Which quickly proves to be yet another mistake on Wonshik's part.

Because _of course_ Jaehwan starts with, "I'm really sorry about earlier."

Wonshik's entire being flushes. “It’s, uh, okay,” he mumbles finally. He doesn’t dare look at Jaehwan on the screen. He almost blurts out _I’m used to it_ and - thank god he still has some semblance of a rational thinking with him. _That_ would’ve been fun to explain.

There are a few minutes of awkward silence before Jaehwan speaks again, like nothing happened at all. “I found out I’m attending a makeup collection launch a week from now. Apparently they think the buzz around me will actually be helpful.” He sounds somewhat nervous. All of Wonshik’s worries melt away to leave space for a feeling of fierce protectiveness that surprises even him.

“You’ll do great.” He states, voice brooking no argument.

Jaehwan tilts his head, smiling. “You think so?”

“Yes,” Wonshik replies without an ounce of hesitation. His bravado falters, however, when Jaehwan’s smile morphs into something that looks suspiciously a lot like a smirk.  

“Good to know I have such a fierce protector on my side. A true fan” Jaehwan says, that smirk making itself obvious in his tone. “Thank you,” he adds a beat later, a lot more sincerely. “It means a lot to me.”

Wonshik finally finds it in himself to look up. Jaehwan’s expression on the screen looks just as honest as his words sounded. Wonshik feels a smile bloom on his lips - a genuine one, not those filled with awkward embarrassment that seem to be his natural reaction to Jaehwan's general existence.

“Always.”

*

The next time Jaehwan calls, he's... is that lipstick?

"Is that lipstick?" Wonshik asks dumbly, squinting at his screen.

Jaehwan flutters his eyelashes. "Am I pretty?"

And. Well. He is. Wonshik never knew he had a thing for guys in hot pink lipstick before. He shifts uncomfortably on his chair, hoping Jaehwan wouldn't notice the movement. The more you know. To Jaehwan, he says, "Uh... Sure?"

Jaehwan laughs, procuring a wet wipe from somewhere to his left. "The makeup company sent me a sample box. I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to be doing with," he looks down, mouthing the numbers to himself, "twelve shades of lipstick? I mean, sure, I wear makeup, who doesn't, but those are..." He picks up a new one, this time cherry red. "Not exactly something you'd see on your standard male soloist."

A damn shame, if you ask Wonshik. "Why not though," he says out loud, shrugging. "If you look good in it," he thinks about it for a second, then amends, "If you _feel_ good in it, why not?"

Jaehwan just looks at him, silent for a few long moments. "I like how that sounds." Wonshik is not sure how to reply, so in the end - he doesn't. "So," Jaehwan starts again, tone bright enough to chase away the intensity of the last few minutes. "Wanna watch me try on lipstick samples?"

In a fit of ridiculous overdramatic-ness, Wonshik imagines church bells singing over his dead body. "Sure," he replies as casually as he can muster.

When Jaehwan tries on the cherry lipstick first, Wonshik swears he can _hear_ those church bells.

*

"So he's pretty much not on house arrest anymore?" Hongbin asks, absently stirring his coffee.

Wonshik shrugs. "I'm not sure if he is? Maybe the house arrest is off for the event only."

Taekwoon glares at both of them from the other side of the table. "Can I accidentally spill something on him when we see each other at the launch?"

"No," Wonshik and Hongbin say in unison, albeit with vastly different emotions accompanying the words. Hongbin is exasperated.

Wonshik is. Well. Panicked would be one word for it.

Taekwoon keeps glaring at them.

"What's your issue with him anyway?" Wonshik asks, trying his best to conceal the worry in his voice.

"You're rarely at home these days," Taekwoon replies, and if Wonshik was a lesser man, he'd be fooled by the pokerface. As it is, though, he can tell Taekwoon is sulking. Which is further proved by, "I have no one to cook for."

"You can cook for yourself. In your own kitchen," Wonshik says evenly. "Or you can cook for Hongbin?"

"Like hell I'd give him a key to my apartment," Hongbin mutters.

Taekwoon glares at him. "Hongbin is too bony to cuddle anyway."

"I am your manager," Hongbin says without blinking. "Not your body pillow."

Wonshik feels somewhat sorry for him.  

"Same difference," Taekwoon shrugs. Then his eyes land back on Wonshik. "It does not change the fact that you've been meeting us less and less, though. I'm very unhappy with this."

"Aw, poor baby," Wonshik coos. "Are you jealous?"

Taekwoon squints at him, Then his eyes harden, chin up in the air - and he turns around to look out the window.

"Oh no," Hongbin stage-whispers, "He's in business mode again."

Wonshik stifles a snort (it takes a lot of effort). Taekwoon is not wrong. He has been spending a lot of time in his studio lately, even more than usual. A lot of that time was spent on skype with Jaehwan, among other things.

Even now, in this fancy hipster café, surrounded by some of the people closest to his heart, a part of him longs to get back into the studio and video-call Jaehwan. He wonders if it's because of the crush, or maybe - just maybe - Jaehwan is starting to carve a permanent place for himself in Wonshik’s life too. It's a scary thought.

It also does nothing to stop the longing in Wonshik's gut.

*

The make up launch goes well. Wonshik doesn't attend, even if Sanghyuk offers to get him an invite. It feels… wrong, somehow. Unfair.

Which, of course, doesn't stop him from finding all fancams available and saving them in a folder, inconspicuously named _PIGEON._ Everyone who’s ever known Wonshik for over two months knows what are the contents of _PIGEON._ Mainly because everyone who’s ever known Wonshik for over two months has spent time in his studio, some of which was inevitably sacrificed to watching Lee Jaehwan fancams. Because Wonshik is just a huge fanb- admirer of Jaehwan’s music. Yes.

Jaehwan doesn't call him right after the launch party, like Wonshik so stupidly expects, but he does call him the morning after. His hair is a mess and his eyes are puffy with sleep but so, so bright.

Like this, Wonshik doesn't find it hard at all to admit he’s just a little bit in love.

“It was so good, Wonshikkie,” Jaehwan breathes, voice soft like he hasn’t fully woken up yet. Wonshik's heart does a little pirouette inside his ribcage. "I missed being around people."

“I’m glad,” Wonshik smiles, because what else can he say? You being happy makes me think about stupid cheesy stuff like white picket fences?

Jaehwan sighs, smiling to himself. Wonshik feels a surge of gratefulness to whatever is above that allowed him to exist in this very moment. Then Jaehwan’s head jerks up and he’s staring at Wonshik, eyes narrowed. “You know Jung Taekwoon?”

“Yeah,” Wonshik replies slowly. “We’re friends.” He wonders just how did Taekwoon fuck up this time.

Jaehwan’s eyes narrow even more. Wonshik thinks he might have just closed them. “I think he hates me,” Jaehwan mumbles.

“Nah,” Wonshik laughs. “That’s just his face, believe me.”

"It might be because..." Wonshik trails off. He already regrets starting the sentence but Jaehwan is looking expectantly at him now. He can't just stop. "It might be because I've talked about you. You know," he tries to amend. "Like... friendly jealousy? Or something?"

Taekwoon is one hundred percent capable of any kind of petty jealousy there is. It could be the case, although Wonshik has a feeling it's more the assessing kind of glaring. He's sure he'd be judging the person a lot too at first, if Taekwoon ever got in a relationship.

"Friendly jealousy," Jaehwan repeats. "If you say so."

He drops the subject, thank God. Wonshik isn't really sure how much longer he can keep the Jaehwan shaped bubble of fondness at bay.

At this point, it feels like his heart eyes can be seen from space. Hongbin certainly seems to think so.

Wonshik briefly wonders if Jaehwan has noticed too.

*

They leave the skype call open even if they don't really talk. Jaehwan claims he enjoys the illusion of company and Wonshik... He's not entirely sure if he's even capable of saying no to anything Jaehwan asks of him.

The highlight of that particular day is when Hakyeon barges into Jaehwan's bedroom, startling both of them.

"They want you to do a charity concert in four months. Not all is lost," Hakyeon wheezes clutching the pant of his leg. He shrugs off his blazer and throws it on the back of Jaehwan's chair, plopping down onto it.

Jaehwan stares at him. "Did you run the whole way here?"

"Of course I did," Hakyeon replies, still breathless. He waves a hand dismissively, like it doesn't really matter -

And then Wonshik sees it. He should've noticed from the get-go, really. Hakyeon's shirt is one Wonshik is pretty sure Hongbin bought. He remembers it clearly, it's a rather ugly shirt - Hongbin made sure of it, with swirls of brick red and shit brown, like Sanghyuk called it once. Hongbin even had the cufflinks engraved.

With Taekwoon's initials. Because it was a present for Taekwoon. And now those same engraved cufflinks are staring at Wonshik from Hakyeon's wrists.

Wonshik clears his throat. Hakyeon seems to finally notice there's a running skype call on Jaehwan's screen.

He hastily puts his blazer back on.

"Too late," Wonshik says slowly. Jaehwan's head snaps towards him.

"Too late for what?"

In a split second, Hakyeon’s face goes from horrified to embarrassed to the carefully controlled professionalism he usually carries himself with. But this split second is enough to convince Wonshik that Hakyeon is not, in fact, invincible. And now Wonshik knows something about him.

“Nothing,” Wonshik says, suppressing a grin at the way Hakyeon seems to sag in relief. But now Jaehwan is looking at him with enough curiosity that Wonshik knows is not going to be appeased by a simple nothing. “I’m just worried…” he trails off, “I’m worried that the concert may be too late in time? I mean, there’s buzz about you right now and you could probably use it?”

Jaehwan raises both his eyebrows. “You too? We both know it’s a scandal more than buzz. If I do something like this too soon it may as well be a social suicide. You know that.”

“You’re right, I guess,” Wonshik tries, praying he’s not giving up quickly enough to be suspicious. “I just thought it may be worth something to use all the talk sooner.”

“There may actually be something to that,” Hakyeon says suddenly, notepad already in hand. His blazer hangs open again, Hakyeon too busy with his idea to protect the monstrosity he’s wearing. Taekwoon’s shirt glares at Wonshik through the screen and he tries his best not to let it show just how much he wants to laugh. Or cry. Or barf. Something along those lines.

Jaehwan twirls his chair around, stopping right in front of Hakyeon. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re both idiots.”

Hakyeon huffs out a laugh, pats Jaehwan’s hair affectionately. “Yeah, that’s why I’m the manager and you’re the bratty celebrity who can’t keep his ass out of trouble.”

“To be fair,” Jaehwan shrugs, “It was not my ass that was in trouble this time.”

Wonshik chokes on the water he was about to drink. Hakyeon, on the other hand, just laughs. “Can’t argue with that, although,” he adds, his voice getting that scarily cold tone again, “if you ever pull that stunt again I will make sure they never find your body.”

“You love me too much,” Jaehwan sing-songs and Hakyeon just- huffs. And leaves, notepad still in hand.

Wonshik seriously starts to reconsider his opinion of the man.

*

That same night, on his way back from the studio, Wonshik gets caught up in a storm. It’s sudden and heavy like only summer storms can be and Wonshik finds himself horribly unprepared. The dramatic side of him screams this is his punishment for his life choices this far, maybe for being an idiot in general too. The rest of him just tries to cover his body from the downpour and curses his tendency to walk to and from the studio.

In retrospect, he should’ve seen it as the sign of the impending disaster that it was.

The whole Jaehwan situation along with the Skype calls take a step back for the next few days, because the storm, funnily enough leaves Wonshik trying to cough his lungs out, feverish, and generally useless as a human being.

There’s something to be said about sharks smelling blood because despite Wonshik’s best efforts to hide it, Sanghyuk learns about the whole thing almost instantly. He all but moves into Wonshik’s apartment which inevitably gets Taekwoon’s and Hongbin’s attention too. Which, in turn, results in Taekwoon all but moving in as well.

Honestly, Wonshink thinks as a sick person, he’d deserve a little more peace and quiet. (He’s glad he doesn’t have to suffer alone, though. And it doesn’t hurt that Taekwoon’s soups are amazing. Not that he’d ever say any of this out loud.)

For the first time since their whole communication started a month and a half ago, Wonshik video-calls Jaehwan from his bedroom.

It feels a lot more different than calling from his studio, or even the kitchen. It feels like Wonshik is letting him into his life, giving him a place there. He’d like to think Jaehwan feels the same way, given he’s almost always in his bedroom at some point in their calls - but then again, Jaehwan doesn’t really have a choice, does he?

“Hey,” he says carefully, and Wonshik has never seen him this serious. “You feeling better?”

It was really sweet, the whole thing. Apparently Jaehwan bombarded his phone with increasingly worried texts while Wonshik was in and out of fever dreams. According to Sanghyuk, he’d had to text Jaehwan himself explaining the situation and threatening to get Hakyeon if Jaehwan doesn’t leave Wonshik to rest.

“A lot better than before,” Wonshik laughs. Jaehwan smiles but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. There’s worry still etched in his features but there’s something else, too. Wonshik gets an intense urge to say something, anything and make it go away. “I missed talking to you, honestly.” He admits. It does the trick - Jaehwan’s smile gets brighter and Wonshik smiles in return, because how can you not?

And then his door is kicked open, because of course it is. Wonshik almost topples the laptop off his lap.

“I made you tea,” Taekwoon announces, balancing a tray with a steaming mug and - is that a cupcake? At Wonshik’s raised eyebrows, Taekwoon just shrugs. “I figured your throat might get irritated by hard food so I made cupcakes.”

He finally seems to notice the laptop perched on Wonshik’s knees, then proceeds to frown.

“I’m talking to Jaehwan,” Wonshik clarifies, taking the tray out of Taekwoon’s hands, which only makes him frown harder.

He butts into Wonshik's space, very much in view of the camera. “I thought Hyukkie told you to leave him alone until he gets better.”

Wonshik sputters, almost spills the tea on his laptop in his haste to push Taekwoon away. “I _am_ better and you're awfully rude. Also,” he adds, “I was the one to call Jaehwan, not the other way around.”

Taekwoon keeps frowning but, thankfully, doesn't comment further. He does have the _I’m telling your mom about this_ look, though. In this case, the mom being Sanghyuk.

Wonshik decides his time would be best spent ignoring Taekwoon. When he looks back at his screen, though, Jaehwan is frowning again. “If you're not feeling great…”

“I’m feeling fantastic!” Wonshik interrupts. He’s not, but he’s not about to ruin this conversation further with petty little things like the truth. “Taekwoon was just being an asshole.” The last bit is said while staring at Taekwoon himself, who has yet to leave the room. He does, in the end, but not without making it obvious just what he thinks about the whole situation.

They stay silent for a few long, awkward seconds until Jaehwan speaks again. “Yeah I’m pretty sure he hates me.”

The thought of Taekwoon genuinely hating anyone is so ridiculous Wonshik has a hard time not just… laughing in Jaehwan’s face. It doesn't quite work but Jaehwan seems serious about it so Wonshik tries to keep his cool. “Really,” he insists, watching Jaehwan's beautiful features morph into another, deeper frown. “He’s petty and overprotective but if he hated you, I’d know. And he doesn't.”

“Anyway,” Jaehwan says, smiling again. It looks a bit off but then again, who is Wonshik to judge? “I’m glad to see you’re doing better. I’ll be leaving you to rest now, though.”

Wonshik frowns. He may not be a Jaehwan expert (despite what his shitty friends claim) but he’s learned to recognize when Jaehwan is being sincere. And this is not it. “Are you sure? Don’t worry about Taekwoon, really, he’s just-”

“It’s fine,” Jaehwan interrupts, his smile a little less fake now. Or maybe he fakes it better? He did that one movie a few years ago, after all. “It’s cute how he cares about you, but I have to go see Hakyeon anyway. We have a lot to talk about now that I’m not the biggest disaster in town.”

“Okay,” Wonshik agrees. He has a feeling the fever is coming back because suddenly sitting up is a lot harder than it was ten minutes ago. Jaehwan seems like he’s waiting for something but Wonshik’s budding headache doesn’t leave enough space in his mind to figure out why. In the end, Jaehwan just waves at him before he cuts off the video.

If he were in his right mind, Wonshik would probably wonder why none of the usual winks and sleazy looks are present. Why Jaehwan never smiled when saying goodbye - why he never said goodbye in the first place. As it is, he just pushes the laptop to the side and flops back into bed, hoping sleep will work its magic, maybe make him feel less dead.

*

He wakes up what feels like an eternity later, disoriented and confused. According to his phone it has been just over three hours but dear god, it feels like _weeks._

It seems the fiver has finally decided to let him live a little because for the first time in forever, sitting up doesn't actually make him want to return what little food he's managed to ingest.

Wonshik shuffles into the kitchen, where Sanghyuk is nodding off on the couch.

He startles awake when he sees Wonshik, though. Hurries up and wraps an arm around his shoulders as if Wonshik is about to keep over anytime now. Honestly, Wonshik’s grateful. The fever may have let up but he still feels a bit woozy, not entirely sure what time, day, month it is.

“How are you feeling?” Sanghyuk asks, leading him to sit at the kitchen. “Want some tea?”

Wonshik sighs, “I assume coffee is off the table?”

Sanghyuk gives him a look, one he’s seen a lot on TV. On the disappointed parents’ of idiotic delinquents. “No coffee for you until you can stand up on your own for more than ten minutes at a time.”

“But coffee is supposed to give me strength!” Wonshik whines. “Technically.”

“No coffee.” Sanghyuk says, voice firm. He fills up Wonshik’s favorite mug with water, drops a tea bag into it and shoves it into the microwave.

Wonshik watches him do it, definitely not sulking. “Isn’t the tea supposed to go into the water afterwards?”

“Saves time,” Sanghyuk shrugs. “Since when are you such a tea expert?”

“For someone so adamant about keeping me healthy you’re kind of really shit at the healthy stuff.” Wonshik grumbles, watching the seconds tick away on the microwave’s timer.

Sanghyuk laughs. “Still not getting any coffee.” He has the audacity to pat Wonshik’s hair, probably with the intention of being condescendent. Joke’s on him, though, because nights full of fever spent under a constantly cold compress meant Wonshik’s hair is far from looking its best.

Wonshik tries not to laugh when Sanghyuk drops his hand, face scrunched up in badly concealed disgust.

“Wasn’t Taekwoon here the last time I woke up?” Wonshik asks when the tea is pushed towards him, along with a jar of honey and a spoon that is definitely not a tea one.

Sanghyuk picks up a mug from the counter behind him with - coffee? It may just be wishful thinking on Wonshik’s part, though. “Mm yeah, he was but he went out to see someone I think. Hongbin is busy tonight as well, so it’s just me.” As he slides the mug of tea towards Wonshik, Sanghyuk gets closer, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Taekwoon hooked up with someone at the makeup launch party but he wouldn’t tell me who. He’s been disappearing a lot ever since.”

“I think I know who it is,” Wonshik laughs, thinking back to Hakyeon’s shirt that one time. It’s a funny thought, Hakyeon who tends to scare the shit out of Wonshik and Taekwoon who’s… Taekwoon. He wonders how that works out.

Sanghyuk squints at him. “You were half dead for like three days, how did you manage to learn that? Hongbin would kill you if he knew you withheld information. He’s been pestering Taekwoon non-stop.”

“It was an accident,” Wonshik defends. “I’m not sure I’m right anyway.” He _is_ but he’s not about to throw Cha Hakyeon to the wolves. He seems like a man that holds grudges and Wonshik enjoys being alive, thank you very much. Especially after the last few days.

Whatever Sanghyuk was about to reply with gets interrupted, though, because in the next second Taekwoon is barging through the front door. Wonshik opens his mouth for the usual speech about the regret of giving him a key when he stops in his tracks.

Taekwoon is crying.

He’s not outright sobbing, but there are tears streaming down his cheeks and he flops on the couch, face first. Before he knows it, Wonshik is already out of his seat and with him, tea long forgotten. Sanghyuk just stays there for a few seconds - he’s never been too good with feelings, especially with Taekwoon’s feelings, but eventually he follows as well. They end up on each side of Taekwoon, Wonshik letting him use his lap as a pillow and Sanghyuk rubbing comforting circles on his back.

No one says anything for a few moments, allowing Taekwoon some time to calm down first.

“Apparently I’m a horrible human being,” Taekwoon sniffles eventually, straightening up a bit. Wonshik watches as Sanghyuk’s hand stills, something dangerous forming in his eyes. He looks how Wonshik feels right about now. “I have a horrible taste in men,” Taekwoon sighs. He sounds more resigned than sad, which is almost worse. “I’ll just use all my model money to buy a bunch of cats and go live in the mountains or something.”

“Okay,” Sanghyuk says, relief flooding into his voice. “I thought someone died or something. You just have boy troubles.”

“I have one boy trouble. And his stupid, nosy friend.” Taekwoon mumbles. But then his voice gets quiet and vulnerable, and Wonshik hates the world a little. “I really liked him, you know? He was so sweet to me even though I wasn’t exactly the best company and I really thought… It might go somewhere?”

He flops back on Wonshik’s lap, and Wonshik threads his fingers through Taekwoon’s hair. “What really happened?”

Taekwoon sighs again. “I went to see him, right? We didn’t have a lot of time to meet the past few days because he’s busy and I was mostly here, so we decided that we’d have dinner at his place. And then his friend barged in for something so Ha-” he stops abruptly and Wonshik doesn’t have to look at his face to know he’s frowning. “He wanted to introduce us but his friend just got this super sour expression? Like he was so mad, Wonshikkie, it’s like I was something rotten. They talked for a bit and I don’t know what it was about but in the end Hakyeon just came back and told me we really shouldn’t be doing this anymore and that he thought I was better than this.”

A few things happen all at once: Sanghyuk freezes, eyes going wide. Wonshik’s hand freezes too, mid-pet and by the sound of it, he accidentally pulls on Taekwoon’s hair as well. Taekwoon sits up suddenly, so fast he accidentally kicks Sanghyuk off the couch.

From the floor, Sanghyuk exclaims a _“Hakyeon?”_

“I-” Taekwoon starts, then clamps his mouth shut. He seems annoyed at himself for blurting out the name but it’s something else that Wonshik realizes with his slip up.

“The friend?” He asks slowly, getting the attention of both of them. “That’s Jaehwan, right? He was about to go see Hakyeon when we talked earlier.”

Taekwoon’s frown returns. “I didn’t wanna mention it because… you know. But it’s like he hates me? I don’t know what he told Hakyeon but I just - what did I ever do to him?”

“That’s funny,” Wonshik says even though it really isn’t. “He said more or less the same about you.”

“That I hate him?” Taekwoon blinks. “I’ve seen him like once, not counting your skype call earlier.”

“Hakyeon wouldn’t just shit on you like that if he didn’t think there was a good reason.” Sanghyuk states. “And he really values Jaehwan so he can’t be that bad either, but then again...”

“Oh no,” Wonshik breathes. All the _he hates me_ talk. The entire skype call. _“Oh no.”_

*

He lets Taekwoon stay over that night. Him, Hongbin and Sanghyuk have been taking turns on staying over to check up on Wonshik while he was sick but this time it’s different. They somehow manage to convince Hongbin that Wonshik no longer needs all his babysitters, that he’s is feeling a lot better already. Even if it’s hard to stay upright for prolonged periods of time. Right now, Taekwoon needs company and Sanghyuk is nice enough to provide them with ice cream (strictly forbidden for Wonshik) before he leaves. They all vow not to utter a word of this to Hongbin - because he may very well obliterate both Hakyeon and Jaehwan for this, if he knew.

Wonshik is confident he knows how to fix everything anyway.

*

It takes a bit more before Wonshik is well enough to venture into the world outside but the day does arrive eventually. He doesn’t call Jaehwan once during that time and Jaehwan doesn’t attempt to contact him either. Not a message, not a call - nothing. It may be a good thing, after all, because Taekwoon spends most of that time at Wonshik’s place. They keep the well-but-not-well-enough-to-be-left-alone façade for Hongbin but Wonshik is glad he gets better sooner rather than later. Hongbin is already getting suspicious and each time he comes over Wonshik has to pretend he’s sicker than he actually is. It’s not a nice feeling.

The moment finally comes when Wonshik’s runny nose remains the only memory of him ever being sick and as soon as Wonshik reaches this realization he takes a shower, grabs his wallet and keys and flies out the front door, with Taekwoon in tow.

He knows where Jaehwan lives already, they’d been talking about meeting there once things settle, although they’d never gotten to an actual arranged meeting.

Jaehwan’s face when he sees Wonshik and Taekwoon at his front step would be hilarious, if Wonshik wasn’t so annoyed with him.

“We need to talk.” He says and there must be something in his voice because Jaehwan just steps out of the way, silent. He leads them through a hallway and into what seems to be a living room, a kitchenette tucked on one side of the room. Wonshik has seen it before, multiple times, but it’s so different to be here in person - he allows himself a moment to just take in the fancy tiles, the blanket draped on the back of an armchair. It’s like he’s finally been invited into Jaehwan’s life, too, except. Except there’s Taekwoon next to him and this is not about that at all.

Jaehwan gestures to the couch and just stands there for a few long, long seconds. “Do you want something to drink? I think I have just water and instant coffee, though.”

Taekwoon makes a face at the mention of instant coffee and Wonshik tries to suppress a laugh. It’s really not the time to make fun of Taekwoon’s weird coffee-elitism. “We’re good, thank you. We still need to talk, though.”

“I’m sorry. I just...” Jaehwan trails off, expression caught somewhere between regret and disappointment. Regret being more prominent when he catches Wonshik’s eyes. For Taekwoon, there’s just disappointment.

Wonshik resist the urge to- scream? Or something. “You just nothing. Me and Taekwoon are not dating.”

Jaehwan stares at him, eyes wide. “What?”

“You thought we’re dating?” Taekwoon squeaks. “Ew. Ew, ew, _ew.”_

“Hey,” Wonshik whines, with a conveniently placed, accidental elbow to Taekwoon’s ribs. “But we are most definitely not dating.”

Taekwoon looks between the two of them, and Wonshik has known him long enough to know a disaster when he sees one. Maybe taking Taekwoon was a bad idea after all.

“I can’t believe you ruined any potential relationship I could have with Hakyeon because you thought I was dating him!” Taekwoon exclaims. By his hands twitching in his lap, Wonshik is sure only the years of _do not touch your hair_ being ingrained in his brain stop him from trying to pull it out - or something equally dramatic. In the end, Taekwoon just gets up and jabs a finger in Jaehwan’s chest. To his credit, Jaehwan doesn’t seem to be feeling the best either. “You of all people, when I’ve spent the last eternity listening about how _kind_ and _hot_ and _cute_ you are.”

Taking Taekwoon was definitely a mistake.

“The thing is,” Wonshik says before the awkward silence has time to settle and for Jaehwan to process what Taekwoon just said, “We are not dating. Never have been.”

“I’m-” Jaehwan tries. “I’m so sorry.”

It doesn’t look like he’s going to cry, at least, but it seems like he _wants to_ and Wonshik has a distant desire to… hug him, maybe. Offer support, tell him it’s going to alright. But he resists because this whole mess is largely his fault, after all. It wasn’t too long ago that Taekwoon was crying about it, either.

“It was sweet, I guess.” Taekwoon sighs, resigned. “You thought I’m cheating on Wonshik,” he makes a face as he says that and Wonshik would be offended if he wasn’t sure he has the exact same expression on his face.

“I’ll fix this.” Jaehwan states. His determination melts away almost instantly, though, and he falls back on an armchair, face buried in his hands. “Hakyeon is going to kill me.”

“I’m somewhat disappointed.” Taekwoon mutters. Jaehwan cautiously peeks at him through his fingers. It’s so _cute._ Taekwoon sighs, yet again. “I really thought I’d be more glad to see you suffering. I guess I can sort of see what this doofus sees in you.”

The awkward silence is simply unavoidable this time. Wonshik clears his throat.

They all just stare at each other, until Taekwoon gets up, dusts himself off and heads out the door. “I’d love to stay some more but Hongbin might just kill me if I keep ghosting him, so. Have fun, children.”

And with that, he’s gone. Wonshik stares after him, yet again regretting every single life choice that has led Jung Taekwoon into his life.

“So,” Jaehwan says after a few long, long seconds. “What exactly do you see in me?”

Wonshik buries his face in his hands. “Nothing,” he mumbles. “Until the Taekwoon-Hakyeon mess is fixed, nothing.”

*

In retrospect, that was a mistake.

Because by the next morning Taekwoon sends him a selfie with his hands around Hakyeon’s waist and all their friends are aware of the situation. (He has to turn his phone off for a bit - turns out, Hongbin can be quite creative with his threats of death and/or dismemberment. The only comfort is that Wonshik is sure Taekwoon has it at least ten times as worse.)

The real kicker, though, is Jaehwan at his doorstep at ten in the morning, paper bag and what is hopefully two cups of coffee in his hands.

“So I’ve heard Hakyeon and Taekwoon got back together,” Jaehwan starts, waltzing in like he’s spent his entire life in this apartment, “And I’m still in one piece. Which is mostly because I tried to play Hakyeon’s romantic heart by telling him about our epic love story.” He then hands Wonshik one of the cups. “So I’m really hoping there is actually an epic love story going on because otherwise I might have to start saving up for a funeral.”

Wonshik stares at the cup, then at Jaehwan. “There’s really no going back from this one, is it?”

“Nope,” Jaehwan sing-songs, flopping onto his couch like he owns it. “Hakyeon also told me about Rose.”

It’s a good thing Wonshik hadn’t taken a sip yet because if he had, that would’ve definitely ended up all over his nice carpet. “Hakyeon _knew?”_

“Hakyeon knows everything,” Jaehwan rolls his eyes. Then he pauses. “Except, you know, you and Taekwoon not actually being in a relationship. Apparently.”

“Ew,” Wonshik says, with feeling. He loves Taekwoon - he really does. But _hell no._ There’s a more pressing matter at hand, though. “Did you also know?”

Jaehwan straightens up, finally. “I wish I did.” His voice is soft, so soft Wonshik wants to melt into the floor. “But no, Hakyeon said he kept it a secret because you wanted it to be a secret. I guess this is his version of revenge.”

“What?!” Wonshik squeaks. _“You_ broke them up. Why is he taking revenge on me? And why would he even believe you in the first place when he knew I literally wrote a love song about you?”

Jaehwan pauses again, just looking at him curiously. “He said you wanted to sing the song with me, not that it’s about me.”

“I...” Wonshik trails off. There isn’t really anything that can get him out of this one. He drops onto the couch, head thrown back and staring at the ceiling.

A second later, the couch dips closer to him, and suddenly there is a weight on his thighs. He straightens up, just to come face to face with Jaehwan, only centimetres apart.

“Does that mean you’ve been to my fansigns too?”

Wonshik just groans. Why does everything have to come back and bite him in the ass?

“Don’t sweat it,” Jaehwan says a few moments later, the soft smile on his lips not quite matching the teasing tone of his voice. He threads his fingers through Wonshik’s hair and Wonshik can’t help but lean into it. “It’s all in the past. Hakyeon, Taekwoon. The song - although I’d really like to sing it with you someday. How you imagined it.”

At this, Wonshik exhales slowly. It’s a little hard to breathe, with Jaehwan so close. “I’d really love that.”

“Now,” Jaehwan grins, placing both palms on Wonshik’s shoulders - you’d think they can’t really get any closer than this. Yet here they are. “A little birdie told me you’ve been a bit obsessed with a certain recent scandal of mine.”

“I’ll kill him,” Wonshik says evenly. He can feel his cheeks growing hotter like he’s a pimply teen again, rendered a blubbering mess by his stupid teen crush.

Jaehwan leans closer, lips almost brushing his ear. “If it makes you feel better. That time I accidently sent you the video? It wasn’t by accident at all.”

Maybe Jaehwan will end up one of the many decisions Wonshik will regret in the future after all.

But Jaehwan laughs, and it’s so beautiful this close, in person - Wonshik just knows.

There will be times he’ll regret this, definitely. Like now. But he’s never regretted meeting any of his friends, not really. And he most certainly wouldn’t regret meeting Jaehwan.


End file.
